burgers and the idol

WooHoo for camp! Well, so whats been going on the past 2 days???? Well I have been in meeting after meeting. Learning about sales, inventory, expenses, revenue, credit cards, snow cones, missions offering, registration-AH! So much and so little time. My lifeway credit card hasnt come in yet, so that makes me a little nervous. WHOA.

Last night was super fun. We learned the staff sign language. it was alot of fun and then we went to one of our coordinators house to eat burgers. then we played volleyball, i sucked pretty bad. and then american idol. i cant decide who i want to win. katherine is good. she is so talented, but she isnt very different from every other female artist. now taylor, he is fun and entertaining. i like him alot too. but really who's cd would i buy? Katherines... so i guess thats who i vote for (like it matters)

i love kelly clarkson! for real!

Well I made it! Yay. My first flight, i got SO claustrophopic. anyway, we had a session today on Bible Study evaluations. we went to walmart. ate dinner at Otters, and then we did name tags for like 3 hours. fun times. camp is coming...2 weeks and camp starts...tomorrow is going to be long and alot of work! and....AMERICAN IDOL! Im gonna vote alot...ok thats it. im glad to be here.

Centri-Kid 5

I have decided to use this site as an update of camp! Here are the dates and addresses of where I will be!

Training Week (May 22- June 4)
Campbellsville University
1 University Drive
Campbellsville, KY 42718

Week 1 (June 5-9)
Northern Arizona University
PO Box 15003
Flagstaff, AZ 86011-5003

Week 2 (June 12-16)
Hannibal-Grange College
2800 Palmyra Rd.
Hannibal, MO 63401

Week 3 & 4 (June 19-30)
Carson Springs Confrence Center
120 Carson Springs Rd.
Newport, TN 37821

Weeks 5 & 6 (July 3-14)
705 Lambuth Blvd.
Jackson, TN 38301

Week 7 ( July 20-22)
William Carey College
497 Tuscan Ave./ Box 155
Hattiesburg, MS 39401

Week 8 (July 24-28)
Maryville College
502 E. Lamar Alexander Pkwy.
Maryville, TN 37804

Week 9 (July 31-August 4)
Bluefield College
3000 College Dr.
Bluefield, VA 24605

so here i am at week before i leave for camp. im excited and a bit nervous. i feel a little more attached here then i did last year before i left. i feel closer to my parents and brothers and sister in laws. so im sad to leave, but happy to go. joel reminded me tonight that i hated the first 3 weeks of camp last year, but then i ended up loving it and not wanting to come back. he was right. i did feel this way last year... so i guess its normal. i found out today that i dont have to drive the budget, im pumped about that! well...so here is my centri-kid blog...

send me mail and leave me comments!

Binding and Loosing

this is how right now I view Scriptures, and the interpretation there of...and if you would like to hear someone else thoughts on this subject you can go to www.blairology.com.

for so long, i have been a poser. i have taught teenagers and told them to read their Bible. I have lied and told other people I read my Bible everyday. well I was a liar. and it just wasnt true. and those days I did attempt to read my Bible, I would get SO frustrated. I wouldnt understand it. I couldnt interpret it. It meant nothing to me. Then I would be like well am I even a Christian. and certainly I could never tell anyone this. it wasnt until recently, about a year ago...that all of this has come together, and made a bit more sense. this was the biggest part I was missing out on. to understand clearly the Bible, we need to know the history. we need to study the culture the Bible was being written in (Old and New Testament), who was being talked to? who was speaking? what was the government like? what were the people like? what was the religion? what were the customs? why did Jesus say that, who was He speaking to? etc... Then after we study the history, we read the Scripture in that context. who? what? when? b/c the Bible was written by and about, real people, in a real place at a real time. this is so important to understanding...after that then we know Gods word is ALIVE and so we can apply to today. well what does that mean for this culture? what is the message God is trying to say to you and me? and this last part is a bit tricky. i personally do not think this should be done alone. i think there exist these communities in which we should be allowed to share scripture and as a group interpret these things, and still of course have person individual beliefs, but there is just something about coming together and feeding off of ideas. and also asking God to reveal these truths...rabbi's use to us these method they called it binding and loosing. there is a familiar passage in the Bible where Jesus says whatever you bind on earth, will be binded in Heaven... very interesting, im not going to go into my thoughts on that scripture, maybe it is a good place to research the rabbi's and the culture etc...

this recently has struck me very important over the Christmas holiday's, with the interpretation of the Christmas message. Since this is already SO long, I will wait a few days, and I will look at the Scripture in reference to the roots of the passages and etc...

Intimacy

i wish more people would say what they think. im sure most people have felt that way but for some reason we have been taught not to talk about tihngs...or maybe not to be vulnerable by talking.

so i have been thinking and developing my ideas more. and this is my new thinking...i wrote about how erikson thought "Losing and finding self in another" so maybe he is saying you create your identity by yourself then you lose it and find a new identity when you create an intimate relationship with someone. i dont know. but then the other psychologist said its not true for females. and what they think is females find themselves when they enter the intimate relationships...so i am thinking...how can they think that...and i think i have an answer, im sure its wrong but hey...whatever...and a little warning its pretty sunday schoolish. so it is true females (and personally i think males too) find there identity in a relationship...but the key is who the relationship is with, and i think it is Christ. we were put here for a mission. a mission to redeem the world. to serve, to restore, to love, to help, etc... who else had that mission? Jesus. we are here to fulfil the mission that Christ came to begin, and to show us how to carry them out.

so to find out who we are, and what we are here for...we need to realize our role in this huge story...and to do that we need to learn more of who Jesus is, and that will in turn create this intimate relationship with our Redeemer. it is true we need to form an intimate relationship to find out who we are...they are just confused on who to form the relationship with.

i have decided no human man can tell me who i am created to be, or what i am created to do. how would they know? they didnt make me. they didnt "form me in my mother's womb"...and this is really isnt meant to be some girl power thing...i am just trying to make sense of things...and i think it is the very same thing for guys. no girl can tell them those things either. so why do we try? maybe it all goes back to Eden when God said women would try to control man. who knows...

Dating vs. Waiting

wow this is going to be long...

first i want to set up my post by explaining my history when it comes to dating and everything tied to it. i had my first boyfriend when i was in 8th grade. and for 8th graders we were pretty serious. from 8th grade until my senior year, i always had a boyfriend. not the same one, i just had one. 2 years before 8th grade i had my first kiss and was from that point hopelessly infatuated with guys.

so that is a smig of my dating/love/intimacy history. currently i am single. and have been since college. but it wasnt until about a year ago that i got rid of being hopelessly infatuated with any guy. so i have begun this journey of wholeness. and i wanted and want to find out, why am i this way? what makes me want this attachement to guys so much? what makes me find my self worth in a boy? i mean i know all the sunday school answers, ive heard them at every dating/true love waits thing...and they just do not work. those ideas and answers are so shallow and cannot heal or answer the deep need that i have felt.

in this search, and i am continuously searching...this is what i have found is the root causes...

1. Culture... in our culture it is expected that we get married. i am now 21, and it seems everyone that i havent seen in a while or even those i have always ask...so are you dating anyone? and most of the people around me also seem to be getting married or has a boyfriend (which i am totally not saying it is bad for them)...also, in books that we read, in TV shows, in Movies...everyone is either married or been married or getting married...etc... our culture expects us to get married or to have a significant other

2. Biological...well i am in psychology right now and from the tiny bit of knowledge i have obtain through that class, im sure i have some kind of genetic code that tells me i need attachment and blah blah...but this one doesnt really matter to me...

3. Biblical... i have been to many many weddings in my day, and read every Christain and some non-Chirstian dating books. and most of them if not all of them use scripture...and I am not saying that marriage or intimate relationships are not of God. because I 100% think some of them are. but for some reason I was confused and I thought that because it was Biblical then it was the only way to do things. If i didnt get married then I couldnt fulfil what God would have me to fulfil. which was totally not true. now that i am older and have read scripture and interpreted for myself...the scripture I have found says, if you want to get married...get married, if you dont, then dont.

4. I dont know that to name this one...Somewhere along my way, I have been very confused. I thought my self worth would or could only come from being married. I felt I would not be anyone if I didnt get married. I felt that my status in life would come from that. Today, I was in my parenting class and this guy named Erikson..Im sure many of you have heard of...created the idea of the stages people go through as they being parented, and the 6th one is Intimacy vs. Isolation..and its the idea of "Losing and finding self in another" but then he thinks you must create your identity before you can have an intimate relationship with someone. I was very confused. but then these other psychologist say that that is not true for females they find there self worth or identity through having an intimate relationship. with all of this...I am SCREAMING...NOOOOOOO...an intimate relationship can be beautiful and wonderful, but it doesnt make us who we are or what we are. the only person who has any authority over our self-worth is Christ. and I know that does sound Sunday School, but it is SO true.

I am not knocking marriage or dating...Like I said, they can be beautiful and wonderful. And I am not opposed to being married or dating someone one day, what I am saying is that right now I am Lydia Allen...and God has things planned for me out of the WAZOO, and maybe it involves a partner, maybe not, but I do know that God's word to me is full of who I am, and full of what God has created me to be. I am not waiting for someone b/c even if I did it would do alot more harm then good.

I heard a song that said "I am not into dating, I am in to waiting" Waiting for what? Be you now. Dont wait. There is nothing to wait for, God has already provided everything we need, the rest is just extra...

My life as a 20 year old

As of yesterday, I am now 21. And for me birthdays cause me to look over the past year of my life. I think how I spend my life being 20. Yesterday, I asked my mom what she did on her 21st birthday and she didnt remember...when she did, it was that her and my dad got engaged. Mine was not quite that exciting. So with my reflection on this past year I am going to share some of my life...

I dont think I have ever grown this much spiritually ever. It really all started when I went to YS confrence in Nashville. Which was actually before I turned 20, but thats still where it started. My brother had bought the CD's of a few sessions, one being Rob Bell. There began a fascination with the truth and history, and the mixing of the two. I totally wouldnt be who I am right now if it werent for Rob Bell and the truths God has spoken into my life through him.

Second, I have changed in relation with my family. My relationship with my brothers have only gotten better. They are more of friends now then ever. My parents and I have such a better, honest relationship. My family has obviously made me who I am, and they continue to do that.

My bestfriend Jessica and I have a relationship that also has matured and grown over the year. Really in just the past 2 months. She is constantly on this journey with me, and we are constantly sharpening each other to be the real us.

This summer I was a part of team doing kids camp for Centri-Kid. And this would be the height of my growth of this year. I was challenged more than I ever have been. I learned to love people I would never have loved other wise. I learned to care and encourage when I was empty. I learned to rely on people when I wanted to be independent. I learned to be who I was, not who someone wanted me to be. I learned to travel. I learned to shut my mouth when I wanted my opinion to be known, but knew it would do more harm then good. I learned patience. I learned that I really dont need that much sleep. I learned that people who dont "think like me" arent wrong they are just different. I learned that how I thought about things might not be really that true. I really truly learned how to care, not conditionally, but truely deep down caring about people and life in general.

The last thing I have learned which might be the most important is I have learned how important relationships are. I prayed not too long ago for friends. Then last night really God showed me very clearly, Lydia, you already have them. My prayer really wasnt for friends, it was for new friends. Which was very selfish of me. I needed and am praying for a heart to genuienly care for my friends. And for me to know how to be a friend b/c I suck at it. So, if you are reading this and consider yourself my friend, I am sorry I have done a bad job, but its going to change.

I am so thankful I have reached 21. And more than that I am so thankful God has brought me to this place and will continue to teach me and stretch me, and that I will not be the same when I turn 22.